Todays Parents

Times have changed. I am a stay at home parent to a beautiful thirteen month old girl. I am also a man. Years ago this was something that would have never even been considered, the man was the wage earner and the woman was the one who stayed at home and actively raised the children. This is one of the many differences between traditional and modern approaches in parenting. Surprisingly in this new and supposedly enlightened time, I have taken quite a bit of ribbing for my position. Too often I have been referred to as Mrs. Gullen, or the lady of the house, and I would like to be able to say that I am above being irked by those types of comments, but unfortunately that would be a lie, showing the truth in the belief that a male ego is truly a fragile thing.

To say that I have any sense of shame for the role I am in would also be a lie. I take great pride in the fact that I am the central parenting figure in my little girl’s life. Every morning I am greeted by her beautiful smile when I go into her room to start my day, and I cannot imagine a more precious gift. I feel pity for my wife that she does not get to experience the things that I do during a day. I get to see the laughter, the tears, the new emotions, the first words, all the wonders that a baby can provide, each and every day to me is truly a gift and I am eternally grateful.

Now, to say that what I am doing is easy would be the greatest lie of all. To say that I spend a good part of my day confused would be an understatement. Why won’t she eat this, she ate it yesterday? What does that cry mean? Why does she need to mash her food all over her face? Why won’t she poop? I have asked all of these questions, sometimes on a daily basis. When I am at a loss, I will pick up the phone and call my mother, asking her for her sage like wisdom. Sometimes we disagree due to the differences in traditional and modern approaches in parenting, but normally mom’s ideas work out for the best. Unfortunately there are times when even proven veterans such as my mother or mother-in-law are stumped and then I am on my own. What I have found though is that the greatest asset that any parent can have, especially when dealing with an infant, is patience, patience, and even more patience.

I am not here to advocate either the traditional or modern approach in parenting, due to the fact that I have found in my experience that they are quite similar. Some of the methodology is different, but there is one truth that seems to be self evident in both approaches: If you are having trouble, keep trying new things until something works. Yes, the old standard of trial and error is the bridge between traditional and modern parenting. I guess that some things will truly never change.

If you are like most parents, you probably want to raise healthy, smart kids. You may already have some ideas on how to achieve this. Here are some parenting tips that will help parents ensure their children develop to their full potential.
One of the parenting tips that work best is giving your children quantity and quality time. When you spend time with your kids, try to engage them in meaningful conversations. Try to build fun and healthy communications and relationships while the kids are young.
In many homes, parents do not really talk to their kids when they are young. But when the kids become teens, these parents desperately want to talk to their teens. But the opportunity is not there anymore. Try not to become average parents. According to statistics, an average American parent spends less than fifteen minutes a week in serious discussion with their children.
Practice and develop good habits. It is important that you push your kids to exercise their faith and put into action the lessons that they have received. For example, it is one thing to learn about charity and caring, but it is another thing to volunteer some time to visit nursing homes and serve the elderly. Or participate in building a house for the poor.
Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher, said that virtues are acquired by the development of habits. At first it may feel like a duty to maintain good habits but it will become easier as time goes by, and soon they will exercise good habits effortlessly.
Be a good role model. It is hard trying to teach children something when we do not do it ourselves. When they hear you lying about something, what kind of message are you sending to your children? Because action speaks louder than words, your kids will probably imitate our good and bad habits more than listening to our words.

Be involved parents. Involved parents are parents who monitor their kids’ media consumption, know whether the teachings in school are in line with their values and are acquainted with their friends. You should have a good rapport with your kids. Nobody is perfect but the more you become involved in your children’s lives, the better your chances of raising them to be good citizens.
Have a strong and healthy relationship. Having a strong and healthy marriage or relationship is not only good for you but also for your children. A thriving family unit is a good deterrent for anti-social behavior.
One thing for sure: it is hard enough to raise a child with two parents, let alone a single parent. Research shows that two years after a divorce, many boys have trouble concentrating, do poorly on intelligence tests, and have difficulty with math. Should your relationship break down ensure that your children continue to have full support from both parents.
Get connected with other parents. We need support and encouragement from other parents and you’ll no doubt learn new parenting tips from them. It is good to know that you are not the only ones who may be struggling. You can encourage one another to hang in there and continue to do the right thing.
About the Author
Alison Palmer has an interest in topics relating to Family & Children. To find out how you can get more information about surviving the first year please visit this Newborn Baby site.
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Just as it is your job to protect your children in every day life, it is your job as a parent to protect your children online. Parents who wouldn’t allow their children to go out with people they don’t know often think nothing of letting their children spend hours online chatting with strangers. Today, online crimes can easily enter your home, so it is your responsibility to make your child aware of the online dangers that exist. In addition to communicating with your child about online safety, pro-active parents can purchase software that may prevent potential problems.
Filtering programs such as NetNanny and CyberPatrol can offer some restriction to inappropriate web sites that might contain pornography. However, these programs aren’t foolproof and do not provide realtime alerts and notification. Your child may still be able to access some pornographic sites and some legitimate sites may accidentally be blocked.
If you are concerned about your child’s online activities, a parental control service by OnlineSafetyPAL and program like OnlineSafetyShield can used to help ensure online child safety when you are not around. These programs and services are set-up to record and monitor all computer activity and provide real-time alert notification. Parents can create a list of certain specific forbidden words, such as pornography or sex. If any of these words are typed during a session, the program automatically records it. The online monitoring feature can give parents peace of mind by being able to view online recordings. Working parents can even set the program to send them alert emails to their computer and text messages on their mobile phones to let them know when there has been any improper use of the computer. If your child attends after school care that has Internet access, be sure to check with them to see if they use a control or filtering program.
About the Author
Asma Latif is a pro-active parent, a California CPA and a founder of OnlineSafetyPAL Inc. (http://www.OnlineSafetyPAL.com and http://www.OnlineSafetyShield.com) helping other parents protect children against online dangers through parental control software and education. She can be reached at Asma.Latif@OnlineSafetyPAL.com or at 562.945.3738.
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While television and other media have made it a practice to anoint well-known celebrities as positive role models for kids, the great majority of people still believe that parents should be the foremost role models of their children. The following is a compilation of various ways that can help parents become better role models for their kids.
In terms of nurturing children, the most common comment is to show your love and concern. Tell them you love them every day and show affection daily through hugs, kisses and touches. In spite of busy schedules, make time for special family fun activities. Also make the effort to meet your child’s friends to build stronger rapport with them and to gauge the influence they exert on your kids.
Understanding is another key in becoming an effective role model for your child.
As the saying goes, "Understand - don’t take a stand." Communication is vital and should always be a two-way street. Listen to your kids and find out what’s going on in their lives and if anything is bothering them. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything under the sun. It is important to remember that children who have good communication with their parents are more likely to ask for their advice than turn to their peers.
Parents constantly demand respect from their children, but remember that is it is not something that can be taken for granted. Like most things of real value, respect has to be earned. And oftentimes, the best way to earn respect is to give respect. This also means that you have to learn to empathize, to put yourself in your kid’s shoes and understand what it means to be him. And always try to avoid putting your children in situations where they feel disregarded, disrespected, humiliated or embarrassed. Such situations can sometimes leave deep emotional scars.
Remember that you have to teach your children to respect themselves as well. Teach them to stand up for themselves without putting their safety at risk. Discuss ways to solve problems without fighting. Make them aware that fighting never solves a problem. Most importantly, advise them that physical force or intimidation does not win respect, rather, it is the quality of one’s character that wins respect.
About the Author
Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including Family, Gardening, and Society
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My husband thought he was immune to the apparent "Lost-Mind-Syndrome" that had afflicted me during our childrens’ toddler years. What, you haven’t heard of "Lost-Mind-Syndrome"? Okay, so maybe it’s nothing more than being scatter-brained from having ten thousand things to do each and every day! But read on to see that even the most practical-minded man is no match for the beleaguered mind-weariness of parenting!
I think it was during our toddler invasion years (we had three at home) when I realized that losing one’s mind–particularly a portion of the memory feature–was an unavoidable by-product of parenting. Why didn’t the baby books warn that lost car keys, lost eye glasses, lost bottles and pacifiers–things that turn routine days into triathlons–would become par for the course? There is probably a specialized branch of the government mothers should work for. Who else can conduct a frantic search for vital home security items in less than a minute–and still make it to the pediatrician’s office on time?
My husband has hinted that "lost-mind-syndrome" (or, LMS, as we affectionately call it) after parenthood can only happen if one is prone to it in the first place. In other words, that I was really just plain nuts and parenting was bringing it out. Ha! Little did he know that his day would come!
I admit that I had been displaying grave signs of the malady: There was the time we were traveling with two friends when we had to stop so Mike (my husband) could check the engine. Climbing back into the driver’s seat he complained that he’d gotten some antifreeze on his bare arm. Instantly a wayward maternal instinct leapt up in me like an alarm and I blurted, “Don’t lick your arm!” To peals of laughter from the backseat, my husband thanked me profusely for reminding him not to lick his arm since, of course, he was in a terrible habit of doing so.
Another time we were visiting friends and I spotted a pretty lamp, which our hostess explained was a "touch-lamp," the kind you simply have to touch to turn on. They were NEW at the time, and, impressed, I gushed, “Oh, so it’s good for blind people!” For the split-second the thought was in my head until I spoke it aloud, it actually had made sense. Acute LMS in action.
Fortunately lots of parents display symptoms of the syndrome, so I never feel alone. For instance, at the supermarket you can always spot the harried parents at the checkout: they are the ones rocking the shopping cart back and forth. No matter that baby is home—they don’t even know they’re doing it.
Or the 19 mothers in the department store who turn their heads simultaneously when a young child cries "Mommy!" The brain affected by LMS always thinks, "that could be my child!" So what if we left the kids home with Dad? Reality has nothing to do with it. Yup, and friends tell me I am not the only one who has offered a visitor a nicely warmed bottle of milk instead of the tea they were expecting. And I’ve actually seen other people begin to chop meat into teensy, tiny little pieces–for their spouse.
Often, when bottles or Binky’s were missing, my husband would shake his head. "Didn’t we just buy a few?" he’d say. I could answer that yes, we had, without even thinking about it–we were ALWAYS just buying a few.
One evening I had just finished bathing our two older kids. As I walked past the den Mike spotted me and asked, worried, “Is the (baby) gate on the stairs closed? Make sure it’s closed!” I saw that Matthew, our youngest at 16 months, was safe for the moment, but I checked the gate anyway. It was closed.
When I passed Mike again shortly afterwards, he fretted, “Did you leave the bathroom door open? Matthew could be getting into the bathroom!” He was worried that I had left water in the tub, and that Matt might be at risk. I had not left water in the tub and stopped in my tracks, suprised to see Mike getting even more indignant. I hadn’t even answered the question when he demanded, “Where is Matthew, anyway? WHERE IS HE?!”
I gazed at my husband, shaking my head softly. In a gentle voice I broke the news to him: ”Honey, you’re feeding him.” I felt sorry for the guy as he looked down at Matthew on his lap, sucking quietly from a bottle, and it hit him: He, too, had lost his mind!
Ah, isn’t marriage and parenting great? Give the dad in your house an extra big hug this Father’s Day. He deserves it!
About the Author
Linore Rose Burkard writes Inspirational Romance as well as articles on Regency Life, Homeschooling, and Self-Improvement. She publishes a monthly eZine "Upon My Word!" which you can receive for FREE by signing up at http://www.LinoreRoseBurkard.com Ms. Burkard was raised in NYC and now lives in Ohio with her husband and five children.
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In todays generation, people are more liberated. And because of that, a lot of things are going on today that was never heard of before. Say for example, the concept of being a single parent. Single parents are scattered all over the world, so we can not say that it is because of culture or economic status. Rich or poor, a lot of single parents are out there.
So is being a single parent bad? Some would say that they would prefer to be a single parent. Some would say that having a mom and a dad is still proper for a child. Some experts have pointed out some bad traits on children with single parents.
They say that having a single parent has certain effects on a child.
Of course, some effects are good but some are also bad. Since a lot of single parents are dealing with their children by themselves, it is important that you notice and discuss some good and bad effects of solo parenting.
Let us start on the good effects of being a single parent. As an effect of being a single parent, you will be very close to your child or children. You will be the only one they will look up to and you will have their undivided unconditional love. You will also be the only authority they will look up to.
You will be able to have all of their respect and love, making it easy for you to make rules and also for them to follow. In your family, there will be no pairing up or partnership between members. Your family will be very close and the single parent will be in full control.
Close family ties s the greatest effect a single parent can have on a child. The child and single parent will have a very good, if not best, and a very open relationship.
They will have a good communication line and no secrets will be kept from each other. They will share everything with each other that will lead to a harmonious relationship between parent and child.
So if you look at it, being a single parent will be great considering the fact that how good your relationship would be as parent and child. But being a single parent also has its flaws. The difference may have some not so good effects on your child.
Of course, a normal family consists of a mother, a father and the children. In the case of a single parent, a mother or a father is missing. Because of that, it is no longer normal. And as you know, the society looks down on anything that is not normal. The child might start feeling that he or she is different. And that may have some unwanted psychological effects on the child.
One example that might bring the childs feeling down is when his or her peers start teasing him or her for having only one parent. He or she might start thinking that having one parent is bad and the child points out the blame to his or her parent. The child will have a gap with the parent that will be very hard to fill up.
Another problem that may arise as an effect of being a single parent on a child is his or her lack of either a father figure or a mother to care for him or her. The child might seek for someone that has never been there and it might be a cause for the child to be hard-headed.
The child might also get jealous seeing other kids with complete parents. The child may become disturbed because of that. The child might be looking for complete parents in some special occasions that usually require two parents like fathers day or mothers day.
As a single parent, you have to answer all the financial needs of your family. So that means you have to work for you to feed them. You can not really spend much time with your children so that you can have a good life. You will really have a hard time teaching them values because you are not always at home.
Always remember that it is not about being a single parent. It is about how you bring up your children and the time you spend with them. And also being how efficient you are as a parent, single or not.
About the Author
Dwayne Garrett is the author of several eBooks and popular software applications, he also offers an affordable Shopping Resource that will save you a ton of money on some of todays popular ebooks, softwares and videos. http://www.BumRushMedia.com

Author Dwayne Garrett

Healthy Parent relationship with children.
Its important for us to establish ourselves prior to children. What do I mean you ask? I mean you need to have a purpose prior to motherhood or fatherhood. You need to know you are someone besides a parent.
When you have children your enjoy them. You don’t think of them as getting older quite naturally. You enjoy raising your child or children . Some times this totally consumes our lives (raising our children). You go through the baby stage where they are totally depended on you, then you have the two year olds when they start walking and some words are being said. By three years old they are talking, walking, hopefully potty trained and no bottle. Not only do they talk, but sometimes they get smart with you. Now, I have known some parents that get nervous at this point. Because their child is becoming independent. I have heard so many people say I want another baby because he or she doesn’t need me anymore. When the child turns five and goes to school. Okay crazy time, my baby has grew up on me. I have seen people take off of work a week. They say its for the child because they may be scared, however the child is excited and can’t wait to go to school. But the parents on the other hand, don’t want to let go. They are the one that is scared. The question for some people is when your child shows independency and is okay with leaving you, what are you going to do with your time?
Lets fast forward - now your children are grown, over the age of 21. Many people I know does not have a life. What do I mean? I mean their whole life is surrounded by their grown children. They want to know where they are going? What are they doing? What are their grandchildren doing? How can I help out? Can you come over for dinner? Can I come over to clean your house? Can I help you build something? Can we go some where together? Can we go out to eat, shop or even vacation together? Now this may come to a shocker to you, but your grown children might not want to be around you. You get offended or upset when they tell you mom or dad (no).
On the other hand, you have grown children that are looking for you to babysit, clean up after them fix dinner. Or come over to their house and fix dinner. This is a dependent child (congratulations this is what you created) one that doesn’t want to do for themselves. And unless the find a wife or husband that will do everything for them like you have been doing. You just might have them there in your house always. (Hey this might be what you wanted). We all need guidance and have set backs. However if you find that you (grown person) are in the same situation and its five years later. There is something wrong with this picture.
Myself I could not wait to grow up and move out of my parents house. It wasn’t because I was treated bad. I was actually the youngest of six, and everyone else had moved out already. I just thought this was the thing to do, and it was. It was great feeling, I had a house mate at first, that didn’t work out so well. But it was all a learning experience. I still never had the desire to move back home. I loved everything about being out on my own. I didn’t want to give up my freedom. For some odd reason we allow todays children to think it okay to live at home until they get ready to leave and only if they want to. I still don’t understand why they don’t want to, other than they probably they wouldn’t be able to afford a really nice car and cell phone and rent too. Therefore, they just get the nice car and cell phone and live at home.
My point is one of my goals in life is to help my parents out financially as much as I can. Not continually asking them for help. The sooner the better. If I am able to do this and show my children, then they may get the picture. That the parents are here for help, but that helping should eventually turn around.
Also I have loads of things that I enjoy doing, and they don’t include my children lives. They include my husband and I. I do babysit the grand sometimes, but its definitely not all the time. Please don’t find yourself old and bitter, because the children don’t want to come and visit you because you are in their business all the time. Don’t find yourself lonely, because you never had anything to do prior to having children. Get a hobby, enjoy people your own age, don’t be scared to take on new adventures. This is 2007 you are not to old for anything!!
About the Author
Vanessa is native of Camden, Delaware. She enjoys skating, bicyling and reading.
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Author vanessa brown II

Can parenting a teenager be hard work? You bet! In fact, sometimes it can be more difficult than managing a career. This is a tough responsibility for any married couple, made even more difficult should your home be a single parent home. There is a great deal of pressure involved in helping to shape the life of a child. This pressure can build to a point where you may feel that you just don’t know what to do anymore.
In addition to the developmental years when a child’s brain and personality are developing, another crucial period in a child’s life cycle are the teenage years. With so many challenges during the teenage years, it’s not uncommon for a parent to sometimes wish the child would just stay a child, or magically grow into adulthood overnight. The teenage years are a period that the child, and the parents, will have to deal with; as the child’s experiences during this period will shape their lives, habits, and behavioral patterns that will define their adulthood.
Sometimes, surviving the challenge of teenage parenting is easier said than done.
During a child’s teenage years emotions run high, and hormones are raging. Add to that enormous peer pressure, and social group dynamics which sometimes force a teenager to make decisions, and choices they are not yet prepared to make. The desire to "fit in" quite often contradicts the teachings of parents, and many times is the reason a child will get involved in drinking, drugs, gang life, and even early pregnancy.
This time period of teenage parenting is quite often the cause of a great deal of stress in the family. To avoid the meltdowns, and foster greater understanding between parent and teenager, here are a few tips that may prove helpful:
See Things Through Their Eyes
There is no greater sense of a generation gap than when trying to parent a teenager. Todays issues in a teenagers life can be things that parents know little about, or cannot completely understand. Many times, in these cases, the parent resorts to enforcing discipline without really understanding what the issue is about.
This parental response is one of the most common mistakes made by parents when dealing with their teenage children. They too quickly forget that times change with each generation, and what was true in their time may no longer be true.
Parents must make a determined effort to understand their children’s situation. When parents increase their understanding of just what is going on in their teenagers life, they can then can make an informed decision as to whether or not discipline is necessary, or even warranted. Talk to your teenager, and listen to your teenager. If discipline is in order, be sure that they understand why. That way, a mutual understanding can be made regarding the situation, and even if they do not agree with your actions, they should at least appreciate your efforts to understand them. This open communication regarding a problem will also help them develop a better understanding of you.
Always Encourage Openness
Parenting your teenager with policies that are too strict is self-defeating in regards to the development of mutual trust. Open communication between parents and teenagers is key in developing the mutual respect that is necessary during this time period. You can impose all the rules you want - "you can’t do this," you can’t go there". But, without mutual trust and understanding there is no way you can be sure your directives are being listened to, or if they are even necessary.
Be open to conversation, encourage your teenager to confide in you, and listen to what they have to say. While parenting your teenager may not be easy, it can be successfully done with mutual trust and understanding.
About the Author
Carl DiNello is an Article Author and Wesbite Owner whose articles are featured on websites covering the Internets most popular topics.
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Author Carl DiNello